I and School ~

I’m now twenty years-old, which means graduated from secondary school two years ago. I’m guessing now that what you want to know is what I have accomplished after school? Oh yeah, everybody is wondering, even me!

When I was a little kid, school wasn’t really interest me. Maybe in a period of time, I hated school or I should say I thought that I hated school! Sooner, I realized that school is my life. It’s the only place I got to go to, and meet with the people I love, who I actually would never met if I didn’t attend school in the first place. I loved school; I sure miss those days I spent there.

My life has become so empty ever since I left school. I didn’t think that leaving school would make such a big hole in my life. Maybe that’s why I never made a plan for my future. The worst thing after school is that I messed up every chance to get into a university because I found no encouragement from my close people. So I stayed at home for one year without school, which I really hated and couldn’t bear. Then I decided to go to the US with my friends to study there. But for some reasons, I changed my mind. Then I went to the US with my sister, who was already about to finish school! That’s why I’m home now. I stayed in the US for two semesters, finished the ESL program only.

I in the ESL program graduation ceremony!

I used to think that maybe if I went there (to the US with my friends), things would go right. Then I thought how would I know? I absolutely can’t know at all! And if there is anyone to blame for where I am now, then that person would be me! I have had choices (everybody does) and I can’t blame anybody for making wrong decisions but myself. I discovered that recently, and yes I’m a bad decision-maker!

So, I was kind of in a shock because my education issue went wrong. But I’m over it now, I survived! School isn’t everything; it doesn’t matter much for me anymore. And what would school matter for a Saudi girl anyway if she probably will end up at home?! I mean what is the percentage for getting a job in our beloved country?! What do we go to school for?! Do we just want to gain more knowledge? Well, I think there are other sources for knowledge. Or is it to prove to ourselves that we’re capable to do what others did, i.e. they’re not better than us?! Or we just go to school to show up?! Is to be educated means to get a piece of paper only?!

All these were just thoughts to convince myself that school isn’t important. The truth is I still care! At some points, I feel angry inside because I started a journey and couldn’t complete it. I feel like forced to live in a life where I don’t belong. I may be here at home physically, but my brain is telling me: you should be there studying in school.

And the question remains: Does school really matter?

I heard all the talk about the anonymous future, and that having some kind of certificate or degree might be helpful somehow. Yet maybe we should trust God and believe that he will be always there for us. Besides, I know how it feels to achieve something and succeed. Perhaps success isn’t only in school; life itself is a school that we never graduate from! And our lives are in our hands if only we could make the right decision. The things that we want do not make life, we make life! We just have to be patient and satisfied with whatever God gave us because he knows what the best for us is.

At the end, at least I have the secondary school certificate, which maybe there are some people in the world want to get it, but they can’t! So, thanks God for what I have!

I don’t know if my thoughts are right or wrong? You tell me what you think?

And by the way, today is my birthday (12\18). Wish me a better year!


Hello World~!

I’m sure that the idea of me writing started from watching a movie, but I don’t remember the name of that movie! I was sixteen when I started writing, but that idea didn’t last for more than a year. So, I’m thinking maybe I should start all over again.

Stay tuned for my thoughts…!