A Tutor Diary

Yes, you’ve read the title right, I’ve got a job as a tutor! Actually, I didn’t look for a job, but the job looked for me. There is some place in my town where schoolgirls get some help with their schools. They needed someone to teach English. Since I’m well-known to be good in English + an experience outside the country, who could they find better for this job? So, they called to see if I can make it. To be honest, I was hesitant, I said: yes I know English but I don’t know how to teach it! Then my mom told me it’s okay, go and try; if you didn’t like it, you can quit. So, I accepted it.

I wasn’t so excited getting this job. At the beginning, it seemed fine to me. Then I started to notice inappropriate behaviors from some of the girls I teach. Sometimes, they don’t bring their books, and I become like how can you learn without the book?! I really can’t see the benefit of teaching without it. Some girls are being rude at times and admit that they don’t want to learn! I wonder why would they bother to come and waste time for?! I even asked them, why do you come here if you don’t want to learn?! The answer seemed obvious to me even if they didn’t tell. I think most girls were sent by their parents; it’s not their choice to come. Well girls, your parents want to help you, I want to help you, and you should appreciate that!

I really feel how teachers feel now. Sometimes I found no response from some of the girls. I wondered if there’s something wrong. They told me that my voice tune is low! I said to them, well this job is new to me, and I don’t use my voice that mush. So, I can’t raise it to a high level suddenly. And at times, some girls show no interest, which is annoying to me. They make me talk in a sarcastic way which I don’t like to do usually! And what makes me angry the most is when they say “it’s difficult!”. I say: listen to me first then try, and it won’t be that hard! Clearly, these weren’t the best feelings.

Now, what can I say about the good things? Well, being a teacher of anything (in my case English) feels good because you’re the one who knows all about it. People around you may look up to you and ask you questions. I could see the admiration looks in their eyes, and I got some really nice compliments! Also, I got to know some people I’d never thought I’d meet. For example, one of my students was my sister’s best friend. I can see now what makes her special. Another girl was a sister of a girl who was once with me in elementary school. I felt happy that I actually could reorganize her face, and hear from her about her sister.

As any job, I got paid for teaching, but what I really wish for is not money. It would make me satisfied just to know that I actually helped somebody! And the best reward is to get respect in return.

So, I guess I can say now that being a teacher is not that bad. Actually, it’s been quite interesting to be a teacher at this young age. I gave the girls a message that I’m not very much older than you, but I still can be good to teach you. I’ve been teaching for about two months now. It’s not that I liked it that much, but it’s good to have a commitment! To me, to be committed to do something is more like to be living! Perhaps it’s not only me who think that way.

The last thing I have to say is I remember when I was in secondary school, my English teacher told me once that I can be good in teaching English. Though, I never felt like I want to be a teacher. Yet look what I have become now! I realized that no matter how much we disliked something that we still have a chance to do it! What I want to say is: you can’t avoid things just by hating them. The real judgment doesn’t come by random thoughts; it comes by experience. So, don’t judge unless you experience things to see how will you react to them. You never know what your destiny will be, do you?!

Finally, thanks to mom for pushing me to this job!